Thoughts like this can sometimes be hard to write, because I never want to seem unappreciative or unsatisfied with the awesome career I have... and the gift that it has given me... which is the ability to "stay home" with my children. However, Lately I have realized... that I am not at all a stay at home mommy. Not at all, actually.
For one, I'm not "home" that much and there is nothing about "staying" either that suits my description. Lots of going, going and going, actually.
Sometimes I long for the staying, at home.
Most days our home school week looks very different than the usual home school family.
We do school in between my work.
The girls meet with employees with me, run work related errands with me and sometimes even work at the shop with me. On good days, I think its great for them. On overwhelming days, I too second guess it all... and wonder what life would be like, if I could just "stay home".
While I love my job, I love being with these guys more.
I know they will only be young and little for so long...
I think of all the creative adventures we could do, if we only had more time.
If only we had more time.
Maybe every mom feels like this..?
When I catch myself feeling this way, I remind myself how very blessed I am.
After all, I am with my children everyday, and even if we don't have tons of "free time"
we can make even running around together quality -as long we remember to enjoy the small things.
So much of life, is the perspective in which we choose to view it.
I never want to covet another or wish my life away.
I won't lie, sometimes I do feel a tinge of admiration towards the Mommy's out there who can truly stay home and just focus on being mommy, without any other distractions.
Maybe its just curiosity of what it would be like, if PPP didn't occupy so much of my brain space.
I often wonder.
I pray that God uses my work to teach my kids work ethic through my actions.
I want them to be hard working, goal getters.
I want them to learn integrity and the value of earning a living.
I also want them to value family first, and always remember & take time for the "simple things".
I pray everyday that I do right by them.
I know actions always speak louder than words..
and they will watch me and learn from my best and worst days.
I pray for strength and wisdom to finish well, for their sake.
As much as I love designing clothes, and making my dream a reality.
The days I am the most full of joy, is when I know I have hours of carved out time to do absolutely nothing but study their faces, listen to them laugh, talk and play.
My Husband, My daughters... my most precious gifts.