Around Here....

This around here segment, is much different than others that are full of pictures of my kiddos enjoying life at home.  I wished I could share pictures of Natalie and Nevaeh with you but I am not allowed to post pictures of the girls as long as they are in the system. Also I want to apologize ahead of time for any spelling/grammar errors, such as run on sentences. { i haven't slept in two days practically} and I feel like a zombie. I posted this status to fb, so Ill share it here as well... :

We are going through some tough stuff as expected, yet even if expected, you never feel prepared when you are in it. Kinda like having a newborn baby, when you are pregnant, you have no idea how you will feel once you become a Mom... and even though you can read books and take classes,and get advice.. {which all help}... nothing can prepare you for it, but "it" itself. So here we are, and guys, ITS HARD. Yesterday I had yogurt and some seaweed to eat, My stomach has been in knots, it isn't anything in particular, but the combination of heart breaking stuff, lack of sleep for all of us, food issues and obedience stuff. The oldest wants to go home... the baby cries every time I leave the room. Donnie took her to Target yesterday and she was wailing as she thought she was getting dropped off some other place. :( Once she saw it was a store, her face lite up and she squealed. Yet there are always the good things, and that is that the oldest even though she has cried for her mommy the last two nights, asked me today if she should call me " Shauna" or Mom. I told her she could call me whatever she felt comfortable with. She replied with "Mommy" and then she quickly asked and Donnie Daddy? and I said, yes.... that would make us very happy if you called us that. and we hugged. Pray for our family please! we need rest and some peace. thank you.

I have my hands pretty full as you can imagine, and adjusting to four babies is one thing, but two of them that are afraid and abandoned, is a whole other thing. I can not parent these two the way I have McCoy & Italia.... and in some ways, I feel lost and sad because of that. I also feel that while my girls are loving the girls being with us, there is also something " lost" that we are all grieving. The way things were.... and to be totally transparent... I think that I feel a bit guilty as I don't have the same amount of time with each and every one of them as I did before. I took Italia with me to wallgreens last night so I could spend one on one time with her.... thats how desperate I am to make sure that my girls are not getting lost in the shuffle.

All and all, we press on. We feel struck down at times, but not destroyed. The process of healing is something we desperately want to believe in and hope for.... and appreciate your prayers so much.

God is Faithful. 

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for the update! Have been thinking about and praying for your family! May the Lord strengthen you and give you all the love and wisdom from above to care for all of these precious treasures. I know it's hard and heart-breaking to realize that you can't parent these girls the same way as McCoy and Italia. . . I went through that when we adopted my daughter, Lily. It was sad (and angering sometimes) to see her state at the beginning. . . but it was a sober reminder and encouragement too that - it *matters.* It matters - the environment, the security, the attachment, the family, the love - if it didn't, we could expect Lily to be just like my boys - and therefore not needing a family (which of course she sorely does). SO - press on, sister! Your labor of love will be a gift to these girls and a tremendous example to McCoy and Italia :-). And we will give the Lord the glory for it :-). Love, Chenning