Early Mornings + Praise Worthy thoughts.

I'm not sure if its the lack of sunshine over here in these parts or the fact that I seem to be permanently home sick, even when I can't fathom leaving Texas..... but the see saw of emotions, decision making, changes on the horizon, and life in general has had me feeling a little more down than usual. I am pretty perky by nature, so I hesitate to even call it depression...but If I am being honest.... I would say that I have not been my upbeat self.  

One of  my strengths { that tends to double as a weakness} is that I am very analytical... I tend to over think most things, even without realizing it..... yet this sometimes weakness of mine, can also serve me well at times, especially when self evaluating.  For one, I have been able to assess that when I am not starting my day off in the word, early in the morning, I wake up feeling groggy and rushed. I feel I find it harder to find peace through out the day when things go off the path I anticipated. 

I also realize... that when I use facebook more than usual.... I come away drained and burdened. It took me a while to really take note of it but the things I would read  from other people's status' would be so heavy on me, from bad day explosions { we all have them... yet some of us tend to do it more publicly }, to sad and tragic news.... it feels as though facebook has become a mini- Channel 5 news with worldwide info that my heart can hardly handle. 

<I've been challenged a bit in my thinking and spent some time praying about this.... and asking God if this desire to shelter my heart was healthy or even spiritual for that matter? >

In the past I have left Facebook.... and have entertained the idea of leaving....because what did we do before social networking? We actually picked up the phone , sent hard copy photos or wrote a hand written letter which I tend to miss. I admire the simplicity of my husbands life as he thinks facebook is a waste of time... he logs on to the computer to check the weather and logs right off. However... If I am being honest with my self in the long run, I enjoy connecting with people in the seamless way fb offers and It is a huge business tool for Poor Pitiful Pearl. 

Most of the time, my fb use is from my iphone. I don't sit at my computer for any length of time during the day, because I am home schooling and I am up changing diapers, picking up toys, making snacks,  I am constantly moving around this house. I don't have time to sit and scroll and visit random fb pages. Also, keep in mind, because I use my facebook for business, I am friends with people I don't know or even recognize their name.... Many a times during the day, I will get a "work" question or notification of some sort that will send me quickly glancing over at fb, and many a times, I have to cascade through the home page before I can read  get to where I want to be. Almost daily, what I read  on the home page hurts my heart.

Maybe its okay, if my heart hurts after reading page after page of cancer stories, car accidents and murders.  When I read a tragic post, It leads me to pray for the people afflicted... and that can't be a bad thing! Also, reading about tragic events, reminds me of the brevity of my life, and how important it is to not get distracted by the things in this world.... and to keep my eyes on Jesus... the one who will raise me up from my grave. Sometimes when life gets too comfortable, I admit, I start to crave more comfort and perfection in my life...  

Yet.... On the other hand.. Maybe its okay, if i turn my head and just say a prayer for the anonymous.. Am I too carry the burden of the world? Can 2,000 status updates be too much? 

Clearly I needed to pray on this, coming to realize this issue is not an absolute issue.... not wrong or right..... but rather personal... and I needed to hear from God.  Praying and coming away from this for a few days, God showed me that while praying for others and being broken hearted with those who suffer is important, I am also gifted as a believer with this incredible joy that I need to shine. After all the Joy of the Lord is my strength, and so without Joy, I am pretty weak. 

Phil 8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I am a big believer that God placed me in this moment, right where I am for a reason and a purpose... that the people near me, in my life, family, friends and neighbors are people I am purposed to know, and exchange with. I also feel that divine connection with many of you online that I have never met, many of you have inspired me and challenged me for the better. Nothing is by accident. I want to have more energy for the ones in my immediate life.... and more JOY in general.

 Maybe our hearts need protection... and the tragedy's in which we are purposed to pray for and be a part of  are the ones that God placed purposely in our lives, not on the pages of the Internet. Maybe for a season, maybe forever.... and like I said... there are no absolutes...  what is said for me and for you might be very different...like everything... we need to seek our truth in prayer and let God speak to the caverns of our soul.

For me....?  I will be stepping away from facebook in a round about way. I will be on my page posting updates and such for PPP, but quickly. I am going to be a better steward with my time and my heart and not accidentally get lost on the home page on the way to my own page.  Sounds funny.

So why do I need announce it? My mom always used to say, " just do it"... you don't have to tell everyone you are going too.  which is good advice.... but the reason I am choosing to share today is so that you will know why I am not commenting on your page as frequently or up to date on the things in your world like a creeper. I wont be creeping.... but I still love you.

I hope to stay totally connected with you..... so please send ETSY related emails to my etsy page.
and please send personal emails to my personal email/ or comment here on my blog. 

1 comment:

  1. I applaud you for your commitment to your well being! :)